Stolen Earth and Movember

So this morning I woke up, and as I was putting my trousers on I heard someone singing the theme from "Skyfall" in the bathroom. How lovely, I thought, that someone's got a lovely voice and is sharing it with little ol' me. So I went downstairs and realised Heidi had come round. Heidi is lovely, an she pops round on a Wednesday, so I said hello. After about thirty seconds, I find out she's in an awesome prog rock band called Stolen Earth, who have a Christmas gig in York on December the 7th in the Fulford Arms, and you should all bloody well go because it's £8 and they are AWESOME! Seriously, here's a sample I know! So cool! Anyway, I'll be there :D Also, I'm doing Movember in memory of my Godfather, who died a few years back, so go to my page and give me a load of money for charity. Before I cut off all my hair later next month for charity when you can give me even MORE money. Mwahaha. Or at least keep apace with the progress I make in growing my excuse for a 'tache! Tata for now! Oh, and enter the competition? Maybe? If you don't I'll just keep doing them until somebody wins! In fact...I'm gonna do that anyway if nobody wins, because everybody should have nice crocheted things! Woo! :D Jx

Update!

Ok chaps! Here's the plan! Nobody has managed to get the first question for the competition I announced last week. So...I've changed it! Mwaha! Hopefully this might be a bit more doable. I want to give a prize to someone! :)

Also! Here's a shot of my favourite thing in York Minster! It's a beautiful, intricate funerary monument for a 17th century gentleman and his wife. Isn't it gorgeous? And this is just for a rich bloke! Imagine what a king would have! :D So cool, can you imagine something so sumptuous at your graveside? That's a man who wanted to be remembered, and remembered as a rich, well dressed Dude with a capital D! I really like grave markers and funerary monuments...is that weird? Jx

Competition Time!

Here's something new! :D Answe the questions at the end of this wee post correctly and if you're the first person to comment the correct answer, you will win: -A crocheted doll of whichever Dr Who you choose! -A small sketch of whichever fictional character you choose! -A warm glow of self-satisfaction and achievement within! Woohoo! Glorious! And isn't this fun! Anyway, I can probably pay postage and things, so there we go, get scrolling and look at... These: Q1: What is the name of the first man to draw Dennis the Menace, from British comic "The Beano"? Q2: What colour hair did Ramona Flowers start off with in the film "Scott Pilgrim vs The World"? Q3: In which year did the Vikings sack the island of Lindisfarne? I know! What weird questions! Good luck y'all! Jx

A small explanation.

Right, prepare for an actual, heartfelt blog post. These come once in a blue-moon, so get ready! I have a tendency now and then, to allow something to happen. Sir Winston Churchill (KG, OM, CH, TD, PC, DL, FRS, Hon. RA) had a name for a similar occurence, he called it his "Black Dog." This old expression has been used for centuries to describe people being in a bad mood or feeling low for no apparent reason. Recently, I have been feeling very low. I have felt that I am worthless, purposeless, and have no real value whatever in this big, busy old world. It isn't a nice feeling, and it can really affect you and those around you. I've felt like my mind is weak, I've felt like I'm weak myself and I can't do anything properly. Not just a little bit of a cock-up now and then, I mean actually feeling like everything I touch turns to faecal matter because I'm so unutterably stupid I don't deserve to live with real people. I'm inconsolable, insulting, and very unpleasant to be around. It really isn't nice, and I'm sorry if it's affected anyone who reads this. And there's not a lot I can do about it, except listen to people trying to support me and help me, and then usually end up saying something horribly hurtful about myself that upsets them. It's terrible to sound so ungrateful when you're talking to someone who wants to help you, but that's how it affects me. Anyway, this kind of thing used to make me do lots of strange little rituals. OCD some would call it, I just call it rituals (archaeologist!). I'd tap the wall three times going up stairs, brush my hair behind my ears with both hands at once, twitch my nose 24 times in slow succession, count my breaths in an advert on tv, that kind of thing. Thankfully, most of that's well behind me now, but sometimes the urges come back, just to try to control myself, calm myself down. It doesn't work, but minds are irrational things sometimes. It's a terrific strain on you to be out of control, especially of your own actions and thoughts. It's like you're sitting inside your own head with someone else in the driving seat, looking through your eyes at a world you can't really feel. So aaaaanyway, the point is, if you get anything similar, don't worry. I think more than a few people do in this world of ours. But remember something that helps me: you're never alone. You have friends, family, medical professionals, internet friends, even pets to comfort you :) Even if you think it's all useless, just listen to them. It's hard enough without denying the help you're offered, and in reality the only way to get through this kind of nonsense (it IS nonsense) is to power through it. Kick its teeth in and steal its wallet, then carry on walking. So yeah, that's about all I wanted to say. Bit of a cowardly way to do it, but I know some of the people who follow this really care and worry about me, and I wanted you guys to read this, even if it isn't right now. Also, I wanted to let anyone out there with similar problems know that you aren't alone, and that one day the stupid little rituals become just that: Stupid. You'll realise, but it takes time, and pain, and persistence. Keep fighting it, because it's bullshit. And you can do it! Anyway, I've got a load of uni stuff to sort out today, and then tomorrow I may try to get up at 5.30am to get a train to Battle (Google maps it!) and then fight in Viking kit! Wahoo! We shall see! :D Peace and love to all! Jx

Hiraeth et al!

Last night I had a terrible bout of self doubt and self deprecation. I was convinced I was worthless, pointless, directionless and meaningless. It upset me, and someone I was talking to at the time who means a great deal to me and my family and friends. This us a mini public apology for upsetting you like that, and I'm sorry I do that to us both sometimes. I can't really help it, but it is nice to have people who stand by me and help me even when I'm being that way... x Anyway, on with the blog! I just read an article by a lady named Pamela Petro ( ) and it speaks about "Hiraeth". Hiraeth is a Welsh word I use sometimes, which means...well, nobody's ever translated it into English (we're rather proud of that), but it's sort of home-sickness, longing, and a desire for the good old days that never were, all rolled into one great big lump of angst and close-harmony singing. Or at least beer. She is a lady who has travelled the world in Welsh, despite being a "Dysgwraig" or learner, being from the USA by birth (we forgive and welcome you!). I say by birth, because as far as I'm concerned this lady's as Welsh as I am! She loves my country, its people, and she's learning the language. She has, in this article http://www.theparisreview.org/blog/2012/09/18/dreaming-in-welsh/#.UFjAl_eZHM4.facebook Embodied what it feels like to be Welsh. Ha! And she from the US! Wonderful! So Welsh it hurts! It has taken someone from thousands of miles away to tell us how we feel so beautifully! Poetry! :D Anyway, I have followed her blog, and I suggest you do the same, if only to read through her previous posts. Today I enroll for my MA classes. It will be fun. I will enjoy it. I will work out the dilemma of clashing classes with re-enactment battles later. Now, I bacon! Jx

Welcome to York! We have The Buffalo Skinners!

Sorry I've been absent a while! Just moved into a new house, getting university things sorted, and also trying to find a parking space in York city centre (physical impossibility) Anyway. I haven't done very much aside from explore with peopleand have Robyn from unraveltheturtle.blogspot.com visit. However, I have had a number of mini-panics about this MA, and I've decided with help from my very good friend Liz that it's something interesting, I like it, and that's enough :) I figure that if something's nice, and you like it, you should keep it up. That's why I'm a cellist, that's why I take photos, that's even why I write this blog! So if you like something, keep it going, it's worthwhile just for that ^^ INSPIRING! Also, if you like folk, zydeco, rock and roll, accordions and amazing hair and clothes, you ought to check out The Buffalo Skinners. They're a band from the northeast of England who play exceptionally good music, frequently on the street! Here's a photo to whet your appetites, and then you should go and check out their facebook page.

They have a two track album out, I believe, and if you happen to be in York city centre, drag yourself to the sound of badass violin solos and accordion riffage! Jx